One of the most powerful — and often underutilized — tools parents have is ongoing communication with their child’s school. Not just when something is wrong. Not just when the phone rings. But consistently, even during times when things feel calm.
Many parents operate under the understandable mindset of “no news is good news.” And while that can feel reassuring in the moment, staying proactively connected with your child’s teachers, counselors, and support staff can offer insight, connection, and opportunities that you might otherwise miss.
Why Staying in Touch Matters — Even When Things Feel Stable
When things are going well, it can feel unnecessary to reach out. But those moments of stability often provide the richest information about your child’s growth, confidence, and emerging skills — especially for neurodivergent kids, who may not readily share details about their day at home.
Here are two real-life examples from my own parenting journey that highlight why communication matters — whether the waters are calm or choppy.
The Shoe-Tying Moment I Never Would Have Known About
Recently, my son has been feeling steady, confident, and generally cooperative. We made a minor medication dosage adjustment with the goal of optimizing things, and I reached out to the school to give them a quick heads-up.
I didn’t expect much in return — but I’m so glad I did.
The school replied with the coolest anecdote: Ethan had gotten up from his seat and helped a classmate tie their shoes — completely unprompted.
Not only did I learn that his school teaches shoe-tying (how great are life skills?!), but I also learned something deeply meaningful about my son:
• He noticed someone needed help 👀
• He felt confident enough to step in 💪
• He used a skill he had mastered to support another child 🤝
That single email gave me golden conversation fodder with my almost-11-year-old — a child who is not always inclined to share the highs or lows of his school day. Without reaching out, I never would have known.
When Reaching Out Isn’t Popular — But Is Still Necessary
In a very different scenario, I contacted my daughter’s teacher after she shared — for the second time in a week — that a classmate was teasing her, singling her out, and saying unkind things.
What surprised everyone was that she later told her teacher this had been happening for months. Is that timeline perfectly accurate? Maybe. ADHD time blindness is real. But what mattered more was this:
She had been carrying it alone.
She hadn’t asked her teacher for help because she feared being seen as weak or as “telling on” someone. When I reached out, she was not happy with me.
And yes — I did it anyway.
Why?
Because as parents, we are responsible for acting on what we believe is in our child’s best interest, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when our child is temporarily mad. Even when we worry about backlash.
I can handle my 7-year-old telling me she’s angry with me. I can weather that storm because we have a solid relationship. What mattered more was addressing a situation that was quietly impacting her confidence and sense of safety.
The Bigger Picture
Staying connected with your child’s school allows you to:
🛠️ Catch small issues before they become big ones
🌟Learn about strengths and wins your child may never mention
📣 Advocate effectively when challenges arise
🔗Build trust and partnership with the adults supporting your child every day
Whether things feel calm or chaotic, communication creates clarity, connection, and opportunity.
If this is an area you feel unsure about — how often to reach out, what to say, or how to balance your child’s feelings with advocacy — this is something we work through together at NeuroNest Advising.
You don’t have to navigate school communication alone.
Let’s chat! Book a call with me here!
